The Bloopers of Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame
by The Imaginative Light
Summary: A set of funny moments that were never seen before. Come one, come all and behold the hilarity of the behind the scenes of Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. Frollo, Quasimodo, Clopin, Pheobus and Esmeralda have their embarrassing moments!
1. One More and That's It!

**Hunchback of Notre Dame Bloopers and Outtakes! My reasons for doing this, I have no clue...but I could not resist when I saw the brand new Lion King 3D outtakes and I decided to give it a whirl with Hunchback of Notre Dame. Now if you have an issue with this, don't flame. I am not nice when people flame. Trust me.**

**Now, this is just the first batch. There will be more!**

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><p>Take 22, Scene: The Well<p>

Judge Claude Frollo, on his black stallion, was right beside the snowed upon well, clearing his throat as he held out the infant bundle over the well.

Director: "All right, action!"

Frollo: "This is an unholy demon! I am sending it back to He - " *drops the infant into the well, accidentally." " – I am so fortunate that wasn't a real infant." (rubs a hand over his face.)

_Sploosh!_

Director: "Cut…"

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><p>Take 11, <em>Out There<em>

Quasimodo, while leaping onto the parapet, singing: "_…old and bent, I won't care! I'll have spent one day out…theeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeee – _aaaaahahaha…._"_

The camera stops moving back as Quasi starts laughing suddenly.

Director: "_Ugh_…cut!"

Quasi: (from afar on Notre Dame.) I'm sorry! Again…."

Director: "Get over it! This is the fifteenth take!"

Quasi: "All right…" (calms down) all right, all right, (laughs again) One more…one more and that's it!"

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><p>Take 52, <em>You go Quasi<em>

As Quasi hurriedly walked in, Hugo, Victor and Laverne hopped in.

Hugo: "Yah! You go Quasi!" (accidentally punched Quasi in the stomach)

Quasi instantly kneeled over in pain, clutching his stomach.

Quasi: "_oooooh…ow aaaah…_"

Director: "Shoot – cut!"

Hugo: "Sorry, I…it was a reflex!" (Quasi was still on the floor)

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><p>Scene 93, <em>Hellfire<em>

Claude Frollo stood in front of the fireplace, clearing his throat.

Director: "Ready on the set!"

Frollo: Wait for a spell. I must get into the mood…(clears throat) _Laaaaaa…la LAAAAAA – ahem!"_

Director: "This is ridiculous."

(Beep)

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><p>Scene 34, <em>Out there <em>Set test

Director: "Okay, Quasi. Try it out."

With the camera set on facing the roof of Notre Dame, Quasi climbed down to cross the roof when a slab slipped off, taking Quasi with it.

Quasi: _Aaaaaaaaaaaaah – WHOA! _(thunkity…tink)

Director: "Obviousy…no."

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><p><strong><em>Trust me, there will be more! 8D<em>**


	2. I Said SIT!

**Hunchback of Notre Dame Bloopers and Outtakes! Here's some more!**

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><p>(Beep)<p>

Djali put his nose to the camera…and went on smothering his tongue all over the lens…

Director: Get the goat OFF the set, please!

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><p>Take 75, This is NOT it<p>

Quasimodo and Phoebus stand on screen getting ready to say their lines, regarding finding Esmeralda with the woven necklace.

Director: Ready on the set. One…two…action!

Quasi: (quoting) When you wear this woven band, you hold the city in your hand…it's the city!

Phoebus: What are you talking about?

Quasi: It's a map, see? Here's the cathedral and the…how can I know all this? I live in a bell tower of all places!

Director: Cut!

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><p>Take 76, This is NOT it<p>

Quasi: It's a map, see? Here's the cathedral and this little stone here is the…

Phoebus: I've never seen a map that looks like this and...

Quasi: Look! (snatched band out of Phoebus's hand) If you didn't kiss Esmeralda in the first place, we wouldn't be having this argument!

Phoebus: Cutting it a little close, aren't ya?

The serious looks they put on melted and the two of them started laughing.

Phoebus: (joking) Let's get the odds coming in. I sense a box fight coming!

Quasi: I guess I know who would win…

Pheobus: Is that a challenge?

(Beep)

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><p>Take 102, Shall We Review Your Alphabet Today?<p>

As the camera gets into focus, both Quasimodo and Frollo were both trying to get their lines right.

Quasimodo: (reading the script) What kind of alphabet is this?

Frollo: Only for those with no fair life, lad.

Quasi glared at him and Frollo shrugged.

Frollo: You did ask for my input. (takes a sip from glass)

(Beep)

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><p>Take 88, As You Were Saying…<p>

Phoebus and the two guards get set before the camera starts rolling.

Director: Action!

The two guards start running off set. Phoebus tried to pull his horse out to stop them, but the stallion wouldn't move. The two guards ran off set and start laughing at Phoebus, who kept pulling on Achilles reins.

Phoebus: Did any of you know…that…I HATE horses! (kept trying to pull the horse)

(Beep)

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><p>Take 4, Dance, La Esmeralda, Dance<p>

Clopin boldly raised his hand, as though holding something before throwing his hand down upon the stage. What was supposed to happen, didn't happen and Clopin was sadly left there and the trap door didn't work either.

Clopin: (chuckles) Now…I believe this is a set back, huh?

Quasi in the crowd started laughing with the rest of the peasant crowd as Clopin tried to jump on the door to make it work.

Clopin: (scratching head) I do really hate technology…

(Beep)

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><p>Esmeralda had just begun to dance before the great crowd in her dazzling red costume, but the bottom of her dress got caught on the wood and she fell on her knees. She started to laugh, uncontrollably along with everyone else.<p>

Esme: Can we have a little less splinters on the stage, please?

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><p>Take 14, Bells of Notre Dame<p>

Quasimodo got himself ready to pull down on the pull rope for the bells, waiting for the signal.

Director: Okay…action!

Quasi pulled down as hard as he could, but he least expected to be lifted off the set, up high.

Quasi did manage to fall back down again and he was kneeling over in laughter.

Quasi: That was fun...

(Beep)

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><p>Take 33, Achilles, Sit!<p>

Phoebus: Achilles, sit.

The horse did nothing and just stared off stage.

Phoebus: I said SIT, Achilles!

Playfully, Achilles tried to bite at Phoebus's hair.

Phoebus: D'oh, blast it all! I'm not being paid enough for this! (stomps off stage)


	3. Hell With It!

**_Here are a fair few more! And there's a special guest in here somewhere! ;D_**

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><p>Take 105, A Brief Moment of Triumph<p>

In the scene when Quasimodo feared Esmeralda to have been killed by Claude Frollo, Quasi took a moment to get himself depressed enough before stroking Esmeralda, who was acting lifeless, on the cheek.

Quasi: Esmeralda?

No response. He stared at her, worried for a moment, stroking her hair until…

Quasi: (in a choked voice) …oh no…

The Gargoyles watched on, mournful. Quasi went and got a spoonful of water. Gently, he lifted her head up slightly. Just before he was about to hopefully revive her, Esme started to laugh.

Esme: I'm sorry…

Quasi, who was so close to depression, slapped a hand over his face.

Esme: …keep rolling. (lied herself down again) I'm sorry. I can hold still for that long. Keep doing it. Just ignore me.

Quasi: (grouchy) I'm trying to do it. Isn't this, like, the tenth take already?

(Beep)

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><p>Take 13, The Pyre<p>

In the townsquare before Notre Dame, Claude Frollo speaks out to the crowd as Esmeralda grimly waited.

Frollo: …for Justice, for Paris and for her own salvation, it is my sacred duty to…eh, to…(chuckles) Hell with it.

Esmeralda's face broke and started to laugh silently as everyone else started to giggle.

Frollo: A little help, lad. (to the Executioner holding the torch) I'm blind as a bat.

Executioner: (reads Frollo's scroll) To send this unholy - –

Frollo: Ah! To send this unholy demon back where she belongs! Thank you. Got it. Apologies.

Director: Why won't he just get contacts?

(Beep)

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><p>Take 88, Quite an acrobat…<p>

Director: Action!

Quasi, with Esmeralda and Djali in his hold, jumps down onto a roof slate and Esmeralda smiled.

Esme: Wow. You're quite an acrobat.

Quasi: Thank you

Silence. Supposedly the roof slate they were on was meant to move. Quasi looked perplexed for a moment before looking around for the source of the problem.

Esme: Well, (laughs) …this is awkward.

Quasi: (Brightly) Quite.

Djali: Me-e-e-eeeeh…

Esme: Is it still…?

Quasi: (giving up after trying and looks at Esme with a tight smile) Yep, we're stuck.

(Beep BEEP)

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><p>Take 13, Out There<p>

Quasimodo, while leaping onto the parapet, singing. Again: "…old and bent, I won't care! I'll have spent one day out -

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a great red spaceship appeared behind Quasimodo. Startled, he stopped singing and looked back to see this strange contraption zooming directly at him. Defensively, Quasi ducked from it as it flew right over him. A strange, maniacal cackle came from it.

Stitch: ALOHA, UGLY! !

Quasi looked back up with a startled, confused, annoyed look plastered all over his face.

Director: Not again…

Quasi: (Deflated) …he called me ugly…

(Beep)

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><p><strong><em>Tsk...shame on you, Stitch! Dearly, he's gonna pay for that!<em>**


	4. Shut up!

_**It's been a while since I updated on this, huh? XD Mainly because I ran out of funny ideas. I don't think this counts. XD**_

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><p>Scene 132, You Do What You Think Is Right<p>

Phoebus was ready to emerge out from under Quasimodo's carving table as Quasi himself was sitting hopelessly on the floor before him.

Director: Action!

Phoebus: We - *bonk* ….Agh…. *looks up at the table and Quasi starts giggling* …..oh shut up.

Quasi: *shakes head* ... No way!

(Beep)

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><p>Scene 199 He Shall Smite The Wicked (Take 10)<p>

Before a blue screen, Quasimodo carefully perches his footing along the side of the set, to make it seem like he had just fallen and struggling. Frollo is looking over, having his cape being gripped by the Hunchback below. They both wait a moment.

Director: Al'right…. Action!

Quasimodo then _accidentally_ pulls down on the cape which pulls Frollo over. Yelling, he goes over the parapet, but his safety line snags and he hangs from his waist upside down.

Frollo: Sheer brilliance….

Quasi: *shocked for a moment* …. *gets ready to laugh*

Frollo: Don't you dare…. Don't you dare laugh, you daft teenager….

Quasi: *snickers* I'm sorry…. *chuckles* You just look so funny!

Frollo: *grim* Let us see how you fare.

(Beep)

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><p>Scene 240 He Shall Smite the Wicked (Take 15)<p>

Just the way before, Quasimodo gets ready to pull down the cape with a frighten look on his face.

Director: Remember, not too rough. Okay…. Action!

Once again, he pulls down on the cape and Frollo falls, but his hand slips and lets go of the cape. To Quasi's surprise, Frollo falls and spins all the way to the safety mat below.

Frollo: Gaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oooo…..

Quasi: *still holding the other end of the cape* … Are you all right, sir?

Frollo: …

Quasi: *worried* …sir?

Frollo: …shut up.

(Beep)

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><p>Scene 36 The King of Fools (Take 5)<p>

Ropes are being thrown over Quasimodo who's trying to escape the pillory, but not as planned, the townsfolk keep missing him. Quasimodo stops acting startled and afraid and just watches as the lassos fly over him. The cast start laughing. But one rope happens over his head and falls limbly through and he starts to laugh.

Quasi: *cheers* Success!

More laughing ensues.

Director: All right. Roll them in and let's try…AGAIN!

(Beep)

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><p>Scene 71 This is NOT it (Take 7)<p>

Phoebus: If we want to find Esmeralda, we have to work together. Truce?

Quasi: …well… Okay! *gives Phoebus a harsh backslap*

Phoebus: DOH! *falls over*

Quasi: *snickers and silently giggles, hard, almost kneeling over*

Phoebus: *painfully getting up* Ya know, these jokes…. They're getting old.

(Beep BEEP!)


End file.
